Virtual Gypsyz

October 23, 1994
When we got to Nuremberg at about 9:30, we were met by three friends of Jon’s including Jurgen. Although I was tired, I was eager to get to know some of these people. We went to an English pub called…I don’t know! Can’t remember, but I have coasters to remind me. It was jolly fun. Talking to people of a different culture makes the experience so much better. I particularly liked Birget. She seemed to most social and spoke the most and best English. Her boyfriend didn’t talk much. Then there was Anna who was also really cool, but she was only 17. AAA! I felt old. Bt I guess age doesn’t compute coolness. I don’t even know why I considered that (geez, I’m beginning to sound like Jon’s insecurities and take-backs!). Then there was Gisela who was obviously in mad love with Jon (as Leigh and I guessed) and was a bit shy. Probably because she doesn’t seem to speak as much English as the others. They had all been to Indiana (where Jon lives) and other American cities, so we had a lot to talk about. I drank Hellas for 3.8 DM and smoked a Lucky Strike.

When we got to Jurgen’s house, I immediately felt clammed up because he made us shut up even before we entered the door. It was so anal. Then when we were shown our rooms (the girls’ and then Jon’s), I was shocked, almost appalled, that there were informational brochures about the city and even a xerox copy of the city’s history. It was so silly. But, there WAS a chocolate bar, so it wasn’t so horrible. The bed was comfortable.

We were forced to wake up the next morning for breakfast at 8:30. Jurgen’s parents were eagerly awaiting our arrival to the table which was similar to that of Claudia’s - bread, jam, butter, tea, coffee, etc. It looked delicious and I was looking forward to it until…da du ta….they sat at the end of the table just staring at us, trying to make conversation. Sure, they probably wanted to be friendly and learn something about Americans, but most of the time nobody said a word. Usually I don’t feel much like talking in the morning, let alone while I’m eating. It can get embarrassing, especially with my manners. After that unbearable awkwardness, we set out for shopping and a tour of the city. We stopped at a huge Lego toy store that had more than just Legos. They had Smurf figurines that I would have loved to buy for Lauri (her birthday was yesterday), but they were frickin 4.50-6.00 DM!

Jon bought one of his fast car models and was happy so we proceeded to other stores. We went to one where they sold gingerbread Christmas tins so I bought one for 12.60 DM. I don’t know who I’ll give it to. Probably mama. The architecture of the city was mostly medieval and cobblestone streets - what I dealized a German city to look like. Then we hiked up to the castle where there was the highest and smallest tower - because it was built upon rock. It was a pretty view, but I think I’m becoming almost indifferent to these panoramic views - I’ve seen so many!

Then we saw a very deep well (180 feet down) and a guy did a presentation on facts like people lowering candles to the bottom to judge the drinkability of the water. If the candles went out it meant that gases were emanating from the water so it would be too toxic to drink. Smart people.

Then we came home for lunch (the beg meal of the day here). Yet again, we were watched by the Stepford couple as we ate. I then realized that this would happen at every meal. Was a free meal worth it? I suppose. Then we went back out to see the Nazi rally grounds. This was the most educational part of our trip. It was so wild to actually see and stand in the very places where Hitler spoke and brainwashed the Ayrian citizens. Jurgen tried to explain things to us, but he really didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know except for the geographical significance of each area. Leigh and I became suspicious when Gisela and Anna showed up.

After walking around until much after sunset we went back to Hotel Jurgen and hung around a bit. I tried to avoid them as much as possible but then I felt rude and ungrateful so I (and Leigh) went out to the living room and started talking BS with them. Mostly about politics and social matters and things that Leigh acted like she knew about. For some reason she really annoyed me. She seems to give a misrepresentation of Americans because she’s so ignorant about things. It’s times like these when I’m really glad I didn’t skip class as much as she apparently did. We ate a small supper which was pretty yummy and then left for a club that I don’t remember the name of right now. Oh wait - this is really funny - we were talking about the cost of college while eating and Jurgen said that it only costs 80 DM/year to attend university. I was so jealous that I said, “Geez! That costs less than a pair of Birkenstocks!” And they all started dying laughing, especially the dad. He was like, “Ha ha! That’s good joke! I will tell my class that joke at school! Ha ha!” I didn’t think it was that amusing at first but when I saw his funny face light up and lauging hysterically, I lost it. It was too much.

Anyway, the club was really great. They played better music than any other club we’ve been to in London. They even played a remake of Cameo’s “Word Up!” That was on the raido when I was in sixth grade! I still remember all the words. I felt sort of cheesy when they played three songs in a row that I new all the words to because I couldn’t help but be excited and sing all of them. Oh well. I had fun.

I wonder if my butt sticks out when I dance. I watched some girls dancing and I liked how they were all leggy and army and felt a bit stupid that I can’t ever look that way. I feel like I hate the world and love it at the same time. I love traveling but it’s making my feelings about myself all kooky. I don’t know what to think or how to act anymore. I don’t know if it’s my company or just my own personal problem. I’ve been feeling this way for quite some time. Last night Leigh made a remark about my disagreeing with Jon all the time and she thought it was funny. The situation at the moment wasn’t in any way a good example of my disagreeing at all. I got really annoyed. And I kow that Jon feels that way. He resents me and I can’t help but feel superior to him because a lot of the time I am right! Everytime I make a suggestion and we by some way do it, I always end up right in the end. I feel so cocky now and yet they don’t seem to appreciate me. I don’t know if that’s my problem - that I should be looking for appreciation, but it doesn’t seem right if it is that. I don’t know why I hate myself all the time. I feel like I always have to make excuses and make wrong right by another wrong or if I’m just retarded. I always feel negative and I always have to have MY way. Certain people bring out personality traits in me that I like and others bring out those that I don’t. And then I get pissed off that people determine my personality or get different impressions of me. And I’m so oversensitive all the time and I have an awful quick temper. I hate people immediately if they do something that I don’t agree with and all my patience seems to be shot. Why is Europe doing this to me? I guess I’ve always been this way and all of a sudden I can’t accept myself anymore. I wish I wouldn’t be so touchy. I wish I could just relax and accept things the way they are - including people - and me.———>>>>>>>>